The big O…subject of much talk and speculation; the goal of many social behaviours; topic of books, annuals, how-to’s…but just what is this endless drive towards orgasm for? What does it bring us, how does it enrich our life; indeed, does it enrich it at all, or is it just another hopeless addiction?
One experience of orgasm is a release, a relief. This could be seen as the more yang, or masculine aspect. But what exactly is it we are releasing? Tension and stress, we may say…and yet a lot of the tension that we release in orgasm we build up exactly prior to the release.
So we build up a big ball of tension in order simply to release it!! Why do we do that? It is not so different from making our way up a steep mountain only to whizz down it on skis. The joy of the down-hill release is worth all of the effort of climbing up the mountain. Just those brief moments of letting go are worth all of the build up.
The release of tension aspect of orgasm can be seen as the yang or masculine part of our sexuality (in both men and women). The more yin, or feminine aspect is to surrender to pleasure.
Rather than focusing on simply releasing the energy, what if we allowed that energy to flow right into our bodies? What if we relaxed the tension in our bodies; what if we let go of the contractions that we create in response to the sexual energy? What if we drop the goal of release and melt into the experience as it happens, feel the energy as it moves? What if we sink into that pleasure so totally that we are entirely engulfed by it? Falling into the experience as it happens can result in such absorption that there is no goal whatsoever.
There is no right or wrong way. You could look at Sexual Arts as invitations… invitations to explore this mystery in new ways. If we tend to make love in one way, what if we explored the opposite? Sexual Arts are about exploring the “What if…” with consciousness.
And often the explorers along The Way have discovered that when yin and yang come together in some way, in any way, some sort of union occurs. And in that union something called transcendence…a moment beyond the apparent limitations of everyday reality, a moment in which we lose ourselves, move beyond time, beyond belief structures, beyond right and wrong, beyond masculine and feminine, beyond light and dark…
So what if we bring these two aspects of orgasm together? What if energy-build-up-release meets surrender-to-pleasure? What if sexual technique and goal-orientation meets wild, sensuous free spontaneity? What would the marriage if sexuality and sensuality look like?
There is just the possibility that orgasm becomes something greater than our personal goal or our personal pleasure. That it becomes the portal to a profoundly transcendant experience. There is a possibility that orgasm become a prayer; a flood of gratitude running through the body; the flow of The Mystery in our veins, in our meridians. And in becoming that gratitude, we become the prayer, we become pure devotion to what is. No separation between being and doing. No separation between god and human. No separation between me and you.
Let my body be a temple
And orgasm my prayer
My goal is to die to the divine
Yet I surrender myself to this moment, this flow of life
And life meets death, death meets life.
My sexuality is my worship
And with it, I celebrate the Mystery
© 2014. Shashi Solluna. All rights reserved.