Last week I posted about a friend who took his own life during challenging times in his life. Since that post, many people have shared with me that they too have suffered huge challenging dark moments in their life, even suicidal ones.
I have been chatting all week with friends and asking: what carries you through the Shadowlands? What helps you in dark times? What carried you through the long dark night of the soul? How do you return to the light? Of course, we can only support…we cannot control or change someone. (I know tons of people tried to help our friend, but he made his choice anyway). However, it is useful to have a few resources for challenging times.
I feel that as we move through times of great transition, transformation and change, we need to know how to support ourselves and others through challenges. In spiritual terms, such times are often seen as feeling “cut off” from the Source or from the light. We fall into our dark underworld, the realm of suffering, and the trouble is it can feel really really real.
It is like a big dark cloud passing over the sun: we feel cut off from the light and can fall into a depression. Sometimes it feels as if the light will never return again. This is what causes a desperate state of depression. The suffering can be so strong that it masquerades as being who we are. So how do we remember the sun even when it is behind big clouds? Can we do anything to help find our way back to the light?
Here are some of the ways that my tantric friends use to navigate dark times:
I remember once I was travelling and a situation I experienced threw me into a lot of sadness. I had no good friends around to call upon. But I went to a singing circle and a complete stranger came and sat with me. She saw I was in pain and just held my hand. I was so comforted that I cried and felt completely safe with her. I felt soooo much better after 20 minutes in her loving presence. It turned out that her name even meant “Angel”.
After this amazing gift I decided that I would never miss the opportunity to be someone’s angel. I thought “let me never ignore if I see someone suffering in front of me. Maybe I am meant to be their angel”. I don;t go looking for people to help, but I notice if the Universe brings someone into my field of awareness. As I was taught in Osho’s world, I don’t say “are you ok?” (annoying, and obviously they are not OK else they wouldn’t be in distress), but instead asking simply: “What do you need?”.
Let us have a lot of compassion during these transitional times. We are here to support one another. After all, some days you need support and others you are overflowing with love to share.
If you have special things you do for upliftment and reconnection, then please feel free to share in the comment below.