Perhaps the biggest threat to any relationship is our unmet needs. Somehow, many of us have an inbuilt habit of giving up our needs in favor of being loved and feeling secure.
The beauty of relating with others is fulfilling each others needs. We all have needs that take us out of being self-sufficient islands! We need connection, companionship, touch, empathy...a whole bunch of great things that we receive from our relationships (including relationships with friends).
So we fall in love, and it seems we have found someone who fulfills all of our needs! We love, we touch, we listen, we make love, we care about each other...all of these wonderful things that make us feel truly MET. These are the kinds of reasons we chose to commit and build something together with another person.
But over time, we are likely to discover some needs here and there that are not met in this relationship, and this is when the problems begin...
Love. One would think we all just want to be in love. But the aftermath of heartbreak and betrayal can actually make us wary to open our hearts again. From the first rejection during high-school dating to marriage break-ups, heart breaks can hit us hard. It is no wonder that many people try to find ways to get their intimacy needs met without venturing into the dangerous waters of love.
Yet...intimacy rarely fulfills without love, and love is at our very core as human beings. So how can we return to love after heartbreak or betrayal?
One thing that is coming to the public awareness right now is abuse.
Abuse is when someone takes advantage of another person who is in a more vulnerable position. They abuse their power over someone else.
There are many forms of misuse of power in our world. Sadly it appears to be endemic to humanity. Wherever you see people using a position of authority to their own benefit, this is a form of abuse. They may be gaining money, influence, power, sex or some other desire. But to take advantage of others to fulfill our own needs is an abuse of power, no matter what form it takes.
I used to think Tantric Massage was only for professionals who want to offer sexological bodywork to clients for a living.
However, then I discovered it has another incredible potential that not so many people consider. It is an absolutely amazing tool for couples to learn together to upgrade their love life!
© 2014. Shashi Solluna. All rights reserved.