Love. One would think we all just want to be in love. But the aftermath of heartbreak and betrayal can actually make us wary to open our hearts again. From the first rejection during high-school dating to marriage break-ups, heart breaks can hit us hard. It is no wonder that many people try to find ways to get their intimacy needs met without venturing into the dangerous waters of love.
Yet...intimacy rarely fulfills without love, and love is at our very core as human beings. So how can we return to love after heartbreak or betrayal?
Which comes first? Do we need to learn to love ourselves before we can love another? OR is being loved by someone else the best way to learn self-love? It becomes a but like the chicken and the egg conundrum...
We are all familiar with the phrase: “You must first love yourself before you can love another”. There seems to be a lot of sense in it. Yet, we also know that being loved by another helps you to love yourself. The feeling of being loved validates that we are indeed lovable. There is also an overwhelming amount of evidence that people who were well-loved as children tend to more easily move into loving relationships as adults. And likewise, those abused as children are more likely to attract abuse as adults.
© 2014. Shashi Solluna. All rights reserved.